Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize