So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
