no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize