You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
