I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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