Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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