The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
