the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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