Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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