well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Green mimosas i think yes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
