A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
