what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
