Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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