who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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