he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
