Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
