I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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