she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize