...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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