So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the liver wants what the liver wants
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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