she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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