Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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