I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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