it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
