I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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