they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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