oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
