well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
