You're completely useless in the revolution.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
