You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
