Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
