They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
