This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
