i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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