she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize