I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
