i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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