You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
