Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.

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(713): View more from Texas

38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm

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(330): View more from Ohio

i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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(613): View more from Ontario

Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more

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(607): View more from New York

It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"

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