All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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