i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
