you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
