Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
