If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
