I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
