He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
