Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
