how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
