school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
