take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
