i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
