her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
