I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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