All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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