If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
