I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
