dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
