love makes seman taste better
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
