do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
