is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
