I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
