True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
