My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
