Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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