stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
